Jeep Wrangler Review

I have never seen the point of off big off-roaders. Being a city boy at heart, I have always been a much bigger fan of big Audi and BMW executive sedans; the symbolism to 1980’s stockbrokers and mob bosses is an irresistible character that not enough cars have these days. Probably something to do with that whole “political correctness” malarkey, whatever. The only SUV off-roaders I can get the point of are Cadillac Escalades and Range Rovers, particularly ones with big, flashy rims, and finished in a deep shade of candy black paint (please don’t judge me). The reason behind my liking of these massive, arguably gaudy SUV’s is that I grew up in an area where they were the symbol of cool. They carry this confident, charming, ghetto assertiveness that is quite alluring, like if James Bond was from south Chicago. In addition, they have a charming character that laughs in the face of conservatism and Johnny polar bear, not to mention they celebrate the concept of excessiveness and the sheer goofiness of themselves.

So, the reasoning behind most off roaders, specifically Jeeps, being so popular flies way over my head. I particularly do not get the point of massive lifted Jeeps, possibly because I have never driven one (if anyone has one in need of a test, let me know), and I suppose it could be the same reason as why people build massive lifted trucks. See, the thing about Jeeps is that Jeep drivers don’t take their cars off road, they rock crawl. They don’t fight, they throw down. And nobody can park, chug, blare music, or wave like they park, chug, blare music or wave.

Speaking of Jeeps, my friends Jake and Liz, neither of who have any interest in cars, and I drove a red and black two door wrangler the other day at a family friend’s used car dealership called Huber Automotive to see what all the hullabaloo was about.

Jake took the wheel and said he felt cool driving a Jeep; he says they standout and they are not just like any other car, something I don’t really get, since they are literally everywhere. He then proceeded to explain the Jeep wave and said that a big part of the appeal is the culture surrounding them. I expected this Jeep wave to be a sort of valley girl solute kind of gesture. It’s a lot more subtle than that; it’s simply just lifting your index and middle finger to the driver of another passing Jeep. It’s more like a cross between a cult and a group of middle schoolers who have their “secret” handshake that really isn’t a handshake at all because everyone alive can see it.

On a more serious note, there are very few other cars that have such a dedicated following. The fact that Jeeps are so easily mod-able is a corner stone of this culture; finding two identical Jeeps is quite a feat. The Jeep Wrangler is such a staple of the American car community; their boxy styling, the aggressive looks and stance, not to mention their lackluster feel in terms of handling and general quality are all undying characteristics of the American car industry. The only other car brand I can think of that has such a cult like following would be Subaru. Imagine if the vaping hype beasts that drive Impreza STI’s also had an elementary handshake as well, members of the car community all over the world would get a feeling of disappointment in what that car would have come to every time they saw one. The only difference between most Impreza drivers and most Jeep drivers is that Impreza drivers do not have their signature wave.

“If I had to give this car a personality it would be a well-off young person that does not go to work in an office,” Jake makes a point of saying. It’s something I cannot agree with more; the rough and tumble character of the Jeep does not belong in an office building; it would be like wearing jeans to a job interview. The part about the young person owning it, that’s also quite important as most Jeeps look like toys we had when we were kids, and old people don’t like that. However, if an old person is driving the Jeep, it is instantly un-cool as they may as well as get “midlife crisis” tattooed on their foreheads. The same goes for the jacked up and incredibly heavily modified examples you see every now and then with nine feet of suspension travel and more neon than an old arcade, they just scream “Hey look at me!” and appear to be trying way to hard at pretty much everything.

However, I then got behind the wheel, and I am sad to report that confidence is not something I was full of behind the wheel; I felt as if I was just trying way to hard. At what, I have no idea; I just know it was not good. Although, that feeling may have come from the red and black decals covering the exterior. Imagine if the Greek god Hades stared in an early Fast and Furious movie and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what I was driving. Anyway, another reason for my lack of spirit was the lack of handling ability of the thing. I know this is an emotional article, but just give me a second. The steering has no feel whatsoever, neither does the suspension. We were on twisty backroads, and I was genuinely curious what would happen every time I turned the wheel. I found myself questioning “Will it understeer dead on into a tree, oversteer and spin out, or will it simply fail to steer altogether?” Fortunately, none of those scary yet somehow quite funny scenarios occurred.

Another emotion I was feeling was surprise because I got out of it thinking about how much I liked it. I’m not saying I loved it; I didn’t. Although, I can see the appeal behind these kinds of machines, if big goofy off roaders are your thing, then this is the car for you without a doubt. However, if you care at all about quality, or handling, or security, then stay further away from this than you would the Grinch. Now, where are my Escalades and Range Rovers at?